星光大道 Celebrity Quips

名人語錄
星光大道 Celebrity Quips
演藝界的明星在媒體的曝光率特別高,言談舉止也特別受人矚目。因此這些人偶有一些妙語,也比較容易被人傳誦。

這一類的星光大道,有故作驚世駭俗之語者,有透露出內心深處感受者,也有反映出練達的人生體驗者。這裡蒐集了一些比較精彩的話和讀者共享。挑選的原則有二,首先必須是出自演藝界鼎鼎大名的明星之口,其次必須是簡短、精彩、言之有物的話語。

以下分成女歌手、男歌手、女演員、男演員四類依次介紹。另外還有一個鬼才伍迪艾倫,集編、製、導、演於一身,還定期在俱樂部裡演奏薩克斯風。把他放在哪一類好像都不太對,偏偏這個人的名言又特別多,所以乾脆把他獨立為一類,特別介紹。

女歌手

Everyone probably thinks that I’m a raving nymphomaniac, that I have an insatiable sexual appetite, when the truth is I’d rather read a book.
─Madonna
大概每一個人都會認為我是個無可救藥的花痴,性慾水遠無法滿足。其實我寧可看本書。
──瑪丹娜
When I sing, people shut up.
-Barbra Streisand
我唱歌,別人就閉嘴。
──芭芭拉史翠珊
Drugs have nothing to do with the creation of music. In fact drug are dumb and self-indulgent. Kind of like sucking your thumb.
-Courtney Love
毒品和音樂創作毫無關係。事實上,毒品很遜,是放縱自己,跟吮大拇指差不多。
──科特妮洛芙

男歌手

Blind faith in your leaders, or in anything, will get you killed.
-Bruce Springsteen
不管是對領袖還是對任何事物,盲目的信仰只會害你送命。
──布魯斯史普林斯汀
There is nothing wrong with going to bed with someone of your own sex. People should be very free with sex, they should draw the line at goats.
-Elton John
跟同性的人上床沒什麼不對。人對性的態度應該要非常開放,如果是跟羊的話才應該反對
──艾爾頓強
You have to be a bastard to make it, and that’s a fact. And the Beatles are the biggest bastards on earth.
-John Lennon
你非得是混蛋不可,不然成功不了,事實就是如此。披頭四就是世界上最大的混蛋。
──約翰藍儂
Michael Jackson’s album was only called Bad becuase there wasn’t room on the sleeve for the word“Pathetic.”
-The Artist Formerly Known as Prince麥可傑克森的專輯叫做《壞》,只因為CD側邊的空間寫不下《爛得可憐》。
──從前叫「王子」的藝人
王子原名Prince Rogers Nelson,所以「王子」可說是本名。不過他一度把名字改為一種怪異的符號,類似♀與♂的綜合體。由於念不出來,一位英國記者就替他取了新的綽號:The Artist Formerly known as Prince(從前叫王子的藝從)。在經過了幾年的尷尬之後,現在他又把名字改回Prince了。

女演員

Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
-Ingrid Bergman
幸福就是身體好、記性差。
──英格麗褒曼
I could rip Madonna’s throat out. I can sing better than she can.
-Meryl Streep
我真想把瑪丹娜的喉嚨扯裂,我唱得比她好嘛。
──梅莉史翠普
The movie business divides women into ice queens and sluts, and there have been times I wanted to be a slut more than anything.
-Sigourney Weaver
電影業把女人分成冰山美人和蕩婦兩種。有時候我真想做個蕩婦。
──雪歌妮薇佛
If you wan to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.
-Katharine Hepburn
如果妳想犧牲掉許多男人的仰慕來換取一個男人的批評,那麼請便,結婚去吧。
──凱薩琳赫本
It is useless to hold a person to anything he says while he’s in love, drunk, or running for office.
─Shirley MacLaine
如果一個人在談戀愛、在喝酒或是在競選,那就別指望他言而有信了。
──莎莉麥克琳
Ken is so tired his sperms are on crutches.
-Emma Thompson
肯恩累得連精子都拄著拐杖。
──艾瑪湯普森
Ken是指艾瑪湯普森的前夫Kenneth Branagh。
I like to drive with my knees, otherwise, how can I put on my lipstick and talk on the phone?
-Sharon Stone
我喜歡用膝蓋開車。不然我怎麼一面擦口紅、一面講電話呢?
──莎朗史東
He’s probably the world’s most beautiful looking man, yet he doesn’t think he’s that gorgeous. And to me, he’s just smelly, farty Leo.
─Kate Winslet
他很可能是世界上最好看的男人,可是他倒不覺得自己有多帥。而在我的眼中,他只是愛放屁的臭李奧。
──凱特溫絲蕾
話中的「他」是合作演出《鐵達尼號》(Titanic)的李奧納多狄卡皮歐(Leonardo DiCaprio)。
There’s something sexy about a gut. Not a 400-pound beer gut, but a little paunch. I love that.
-Sandra Bullock
肚子滿性感的。我不是說四百磅的啤酒肚,而是小肚子。我喜歡。
──珊卓布拉克
Success is a great deodorant.
-Elizabeth Taylor
成功是絕佳的除臭劑。
──伊莉莎白泰勒
I dress for women, and undress for men.
-Angie Dickinson
我為女人穿衣,為男人寬衣。
──安姬狄瑾遜
Being a sex symbol has to do with an attitude, not looks. Most men think it’s looks, most women know otherwise.
-Kathleen Turner
身為性感象徵,和態度有關而與容貌無關。男人大都以為是容貌,而女人大都明白不是。
──凱薩琳透納
I may not be a great actress but I’ve become the greatest at screen orgasms. Ten seconds of heavy breathing, roll your head from side to side, simulate a silight asthma attack and die a little.
-Candice Bergen
我或許算不上是偉大的女演員,但我已經成為在銀幕上表演性高潮的頂尖高手。十秒鐘時間呼吸沈重,頭左右搖擺幾次,模仿輕微氣喘發作的情形,裝死一下。
──甘蒂絲柏根

男演員

I have always hated that damn James Bond. I’d like to kill him.
─Sean Connery
我一向痛恨那個該死的○○七。真想把他宰了。
──史恩康納萊
God gave us a penis and a brain, but only enough blood to run one at time.
-Robin Williams
上帝給了我們一副陽具、一個腦袋,可是血液只夠一次操作其中之一。
──羅賓威廉斯
The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev.
-Robin Williams
俄國人最喜歡布魯克雪德絲,因為她的眉毛讓他們想起布里茲涅夫。
──羅賓威廉斯
Like most Catholic boys, I wanted to be Jesus Christ. I could never get the turn-the-other-cheek thing down, though.
-Jim Carrey
我和大部分的天主教男孩一樣,都想當耶穌基督。不過我實在學不會「轉過另一邊臉頰(讓人打)」那檔事。
──金凱瑞
I’m a meathead. I can’t help it, man. You’ve got smart people and you’ve got dumb people.
-Keanu Reeves
我是個笨蛋,我也沒有辦法呀。天生就是有人聰明有人笨。
──基努李維
I don’t want people to know what I’m actually like. It’s not good for an actor.
-Jack Nicholson
我不要人家知道我是一個怎麼樣的人。那樣對一個演員不好。
──傑克尼柯遜
My notion of a wife at 40 is that a man should be able to changer, like a bank note, for two 20s.
─Warren Beatty
我對四十歲的老婆的看法是,男人應該可以把她換掉,就像鈔票一樣,換成兩張二十的。
──華倫比提
Women need a reason to have sex-men just need a place.
-Billy Crystal
女人要上床得有個理由-男人只要有個地方。
──比利克里斯托
My movies were the kind they show in prisons and airplanes, because nobody can leave.
-Burt Reynolds
我的電影是在監獄和飛機上放映的那種,因為沒有人能走開。
──畢雷諾斯
stay humble Always answer the phone, no matter who else is in the car.
-Jack Lemmon
要謙虛。電話一定要接,不管車上還有什麼其他的人在。
-傑克李蒙
I was in a restaurant the other night, and all the girls ignored me…it was so annoying.
-Leonardo DiCaprio
前幾天晚上我在一家餐廳,竟然沒有一個女孩子理我……真讓人不舒服。
──李奧納多狄卡皮歐
I love karate, it’s like a Bible to me. But deep inside I’m so mean, I’m so sensitive.
-Jean-Claude Van Damme
我愛空手道,對我而言空手道就和聖經一樣。但內心深處我很兇惡,也很敏感。
──尚克勞范達美
I don’t think I was constructed to be monogamous. I don’t think it’s the nature of any man to be monogamous. Men are propelled by genetically ordained impulses over which they have no control to distribute their seed into as many females as possible.
-Marlon Brando
我不認為我的構造適合一夫一妻。我不相信男人的本性適合一夫一妻。男人被基因中預設的衝動所驅使,本身沒辦法控制,一定要儘可能地把種子散播到最多的女人裡面。
-馬龍白蘭度

伍迪艾倫名言集

I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
我不相信有來生,不過我會帶套換洗的內衣褲。
I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work…I want to achieve it by not dying!
我不想靠我的作品而不朽……我要靠永遠不死來達到不朽。
Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.愛情是答案。不過在等待答案的時候,性可以提出幾個滿不錯的問題。
The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone make fun of you.
性與死亡的差別在於:死亡可以一個人做,也不會有人笑你。
The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more.
好人晚上睡得比壞人舒坦得多。當然啦,壞人醒著的時候比好人過癮得多。